Let me make something clear to all of you. Yes, I mean you too, person. Put your dick down and wait a minute because I have something to say.
Do not ever, AND I MEAN EVER, tell someone that you heard them sing, act, play an instrument, you looked at their art, or your read they’re writing without their permission. Don’t actually do those things in the first place, but if you just so happen to walk by the bathroom one day and your brother is singing or you hear see your sister acting out a monologue from her favorite play, DON’T BRING IT UP AND DON’T BRING IT UP IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE.
Let me tell you something about people who work in the fine arts. They are constantly questioning if they’re good enough. It takes a lot of time for a writer to feel comfortable enough for someone to read their work. It takes a lot of confidence for someone to sing in front of people. Maybe they’re not even doing it for an audience. Maybe they just like to sing, act, play music, etc etc.
Do you know what it takes to show you thatstuff? Trust.
For a singer to sing for you or a writer to read their work to you IT TAKES A LOT OF TRUST. They have to trust you for whatever reason; that you won’t go blabbing about their talent or you won’t laugh. So when you’re in a crowded room and you suddenly say “OH and by the way I saw your notebook sitting on the table and read some of your stuff.”
Congratulations, asshole. I’m not taking this as a compliment. I don’t care if you thought it was good or bad. That wasn’t for you to judge. Have fun regaining my trust.
If you do it a second time? You’re in for it, bucko. I’m never going to trust you with that stuff again. Because you couldn’t wait for me to be comfortable enough for you to see that, you don’t get to see the finished product.
From personal experience, I know that artists can be very selfdestructive. If you went through a person’s sketch book without their permission, they might be so insecure that they tear their art up. Don’t believe me? Fine. But know this.
Someone once told me that they read my work because it was open on a computer in the house. I deleted the whole thing because I was so embarrassed. I wasn’t finished and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to keep that chapter. Too late. It’s gone.
Then, the same person decided it’d be fun to do it again. If it hadn’t been for such a vague description of what he did read, I might have erased it all because I was so upset.
AND ONCE AGAIN, the same person told me that they have heard me sing before. The conversation went this way:
“Sarah, you like to sing”
“I’ve heard you sing”
*cue the embarrassment*
“You may not know I’ve heard you sing but I have.”
WAY TO GO ASSHOLE. That’s not a compliment. That was disrespect. I didn’t trust you enough to sing around you.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you lose a voice. I don’t sing in the shower anymore. I don’t sing in my room unless everyone is gone.
Artists need to trust you and if you don’t allow them to wait then you may never be allowed around when they are ready to show the world.